How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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