Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
