How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
