Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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