I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
