I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
