Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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