She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
