I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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