every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
