Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
