Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
