THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
