Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
