I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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