I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
