You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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