You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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