he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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