girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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