hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
