I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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