Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
