fuck your aforementioned shoe
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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