I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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