please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
