Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize