btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
