i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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