found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
