They should really pass out barf bags in church
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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