Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
there is glitter all over my balls
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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