Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
