I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
