Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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