We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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