hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
