It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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