it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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