i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
