you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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