some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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