hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize