I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize