She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
