PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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