my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
