Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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