they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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