is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
