weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
