whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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