Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
