Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
