one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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