i just google imaged poop.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
