we have officially lost it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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