Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
