You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize