for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
