i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
