i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
