What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize