About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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