My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
