Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
