Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think people are normalizing furries
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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