just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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