did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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