she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
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can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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