i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just found a bag of teeth...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
